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It’s Not Always About You


Love is the Elixer

Researchers have found rising levels of self-regard and narcissism correlated with rising levels of stress, anxiety, depression, and loneliness.  Countless studies demonstrate the benefit of being socially engaged.  As social creatures, most of us have a need to take part in other’s lives and have them take part in ours. In other words, it’s not always about you.

Source:  The Cost of Fame:  Is Empathy a Casuality of Our Self-Centered Age? The Rotarian, June 2013

Full, Queen or King?


Bed Size

Some believe the smaller bed produces higher levels of intimacy and others believe the larger bed produces higher levels of intimacy.  It depends on the personalities of the couple.  Do you like space or do you need to snuggle?  Like having separate bathrooms, bed size can save a relationship.



Formal Couple

Loyalty is staying true to someone.  It is standing up for something you believe in without wavering.  It is being faithful to your family, country, school, friends, or ideals when the going gets tough, as well as when things are good.  With loyalty, you build relationships that last forever.

You are practicing loyalty when you:

*   Stand up for people and ideas you believe in

*   Choose your friends wisely

*   Are a faithful friend through good times and bad

*   Don’t allow loyalty to lead you into trouble

*   Don’t let others come between you and your friends

*   Are loyal to yourself

Affirmation: I am loyal to the people and ideas I care about. I stand by my friends  and loved ones.  I keep my commitments.

Virtues Project

Source:  www.virtuesproject.com

Cultivating Love



Cultivation theory may be helpful to understand the lack of positive Black love images in conventional media like television:

“My area of study is communications, in particular, media and interpersonal theory…  Cultivation theory speaks to the media’s influence on developing the viewers’ perspective of what they are watching on television. Cultivation theory says that television has become the main source of storytelling in today’s society. Cultivation theory states that high frequency viewers of television are more susceptible to media messages and the belief that they are real and valid.

The other two theories, agenda-setting and framing, build the context in which cultivation theory works. By setting an agenda, media can identify attributes that influence public (viewer) perception and then constructs a frame that pushes the agenda and uses cultivation theory to deliver the visual context that work to satisfy the agenda. So in other words, agenda-setting establishes the agenda, framing theory tells us what to think about what we think, and cultivation theory is the cement that pulls it all together.”  David Barney, M.S./M.A.

Staying Beautiful: 5 Ways to Keep it With You



Both men and women appreciate beauty.  Being beautiful is more than being pretty or physically attractive.  It is both the inner self and the outer representation of that self.   Being beautiful is having a positive soulful presence that others are drawn to.  Here are 5 ways to stay beautiful:

  1. Be kind and altruistic.  Nice people are automatically more beautiful, no matter what they look like.
  2. Appreciate the loveliness in everything.  When you appreciate forms, colors, and images, you recognize the beauty in other things and other people, adding to your own.
  3. Love others like you love yourself.  Accepting, respecting, and appreciating others is the key to maintaining an aura of grace.
  4. Treat yourself well.  When you take care of yourself, you carry your beautiful at all times.
  5. Smile and laugh often.  Having fun is another way to add longevity to your beautiful self!

Date with Enlightenment

Snuggling is Great! 10 Reasons Why


Lions in Love

Most of us like to hold, touch, and snuggle with the ones we love.  It makes us feel closer because we are sharing space and vibrations in a loving way.  Ten reasons why snuggling is great:

  1. Skin is the body’s largest sensory organ with millions of nerves and cells.
  2. Snuggling relaxes both the body and mind; it is protective while providing comforting reassurance.
  3. When you snuggle, you are sharing and activating chakra, centers of spiritual energy.
  4. Gentle touching slows down your heart rate and is good for your blood pressure.
  5. You don’t even have to be awake to snuggle!
  6. Snuggling is a love language that says, “I like you,” “I care,” and “I love you.”
  7. There are no rules and you can snuggle any way you want to.
  8. Snuggling provides physical affection without sex.
  9. On cold winter nights, the most efficient way to stay warm is to snuggle with another person.
  10. When you snuggle, you put pheromones on each other that mark your territory telling others, “Mine–keep off!”


I Love Black People

How Much Does a Child Cost?


Baby (12-18 Months)

Watch your budget!  As many of us plan for the future and some of us dream of marriage and children, it would be wise to know how much it costs to raise a child today.  At the estimated cost of $241,080 per child, these blessings can be expensive.

With the study commissioned by CBS News, some assumptions have been made:  out-of-pocket health expenses, child care expenses, and the general belief that costs end when children become adults at age 18.  If you send them to college, you could spend twice as much.

You Want to Get Married?


Marriage Couple

You say that you want soul mate.  You desire a match and want to get married, but you are only available after 7pm on weekdays when you are not traveling (which you do every other week) and weekends when you get at least two weeks’ notice.  It sounds like you are already married–to your career!

If  you focus most of your time on your career, it takes up most of your time and energy.  What you have left is, quite frankly, not much; not enough for a dog, a cat, a fish, a houseplant, and especially not enough for your significant other.  Men and women sense this and those who desire close companionship will (rightly) stay away from you.  Just like someone who is married, you are already taken and hence, unavailable.

If you want to get married, this goal should be prioritized with focus and dedication.  In fact, you may need to get divorced from your career first to make yourself available for true love.

Life is Like a Camera

Happiness & Freedom


Woman Playing with Hair

“Loka samasta sukhino bhavantu.”
May all beings be happy and free, and my life and actions
help to create that happiness and freedom.

Check Your Vibration

Rumi Says


Heart Sunset

“Only from the heart can you touch the sky.”  Rumi

Your Body Language


Young Couple

Body language is a love language.  Sometimes we show more with our nonverbal communication than with words.  What is your body language saying about you?

Crossed arms=defensive, resistant

Eye contact=I am interested in what you have to say

Touching feet=flirtatious, friendly

Fast foot- or finger-tapping=nervousness, impatience

Leaning away=aversion, not wanting to participate

Side glances=distrust and suspicion

Smiling=happiness and joy

Ten Ways to Love

Find the Ones

Love is a Virtue


Married Couple

Love is a special feeling that fills your heart.  You show love in a smile, a kind word, a thoughtful act or a hug.  Love is treating people and things with care and kindness because they mean so much to you.  Love is contagious.  It keeps spreading.

You are practicing love when you…

*  Treat others  as you want them to treat you

*   Say kind words and loving things

*   Share your things and yourself

*   Love people just as they are

*   Take good care of the things you love

*   Do what you love and love what you do


I am a loving person.

I show my love with thoughtful acts, kind words and affection.

I treat others the way I want to be treated.

Virtues Project


Keep Calm

Awakening Your Sexuality



“Sexuality radiates from many places: your physical body, your body’s subtle energy, inner guidance, dreams. Honestly ask yourself, ‘Am I happy with my sexual life?’ What works? What doesn’t? No judgments. Only truth. Then you’ll know what you’re dealing with. You don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself. You may want to explore a complete process of rebuilding. Or perhaps you’ll embrace the good, discard the rest. Remember though, with intuition, nothing is ever static.”   Judith Orloff M.D.