“My experience with African American matchmaking has been a great one. In a few short months, my once dead dating life has sprung to life, thanks to this amazing service.
Many dating services just throw singles into the water and watch us drown. Poorly written profiles, bad pictures, sloppy online etiquette and phone skills, and first date awkwardness keep a lot of great men and women from finding love, but thanks to your no-nonsense, step-by-step coaching, I am much more comfortable and feel myself moving closer to the woman of my dreams.
Because of African American Matchmaking, I am meeting more people, making fewer mistakes and see the path to meeting ‘the one’ much more clearly.”
B. David, African American Matchmaking Member
Are you watching matchmaking shows on tv? Good! It can help to increase your love awareness and educate you about the process of matchmaking. However, at African American Matchmaking, we caution viewers who are interested in matchmaking to manage their expectations. What do we mean by this? Well, let me explain.
The process of matchmaking largely involves the unseen. All African American Matchmaking members and potential matches are interviewed and screened. Please keep in mind that we are looking for a match for you, not simply a date for the weekend. Unlike a one-hour television show, this takes a long time, requiring both research skills and patience. When you are matched, we provide pre-date preparation and date follow-up. If you are happy with your match, we simply monitor how your relationship is progressing. At some point, you might want to discontinue that relationship or you may like me to keep searching for a match. It’s up to you and we can do either. Typically, we make a recommendation based on what is going on with the first match and your level of satisfaction. Remember: we are looking for a match for you, not simply a date.
Most of us can appreciate shows about matchmaking. Everyone needs love. At African American Matchmaker we work on the premise that there is at least one partner out there for you. Television can be educational, but it is primarily a vehicle for entertainment. Having said that, we predict many more matchmaking shows because we believe that matchmaking is the future of love.
Helping You Find Your Match,
Angela D. Coleman, MBA
African American Matchmaker
Love Yourself, Love Each Other
Why don’t they want to meet up?
Why didn’t they call me?
You just can’t seem to meet anyone, or if you do nothing gets past the first or second date, your friends always seem too busy with other things ~ it really sucks!
It feels so confusing and slightly paranoid and if you feel like you’re being avoided.
You probably are…
They’re not being mean intentionally ~ well most people, they probably don’t know why, or don’t know how to say it, but they just don’t want to be around you.
You’re turning them off…
Being turned on by someone isn’t just about sex and being attracted to how someone looks; it’s about feeling attracted to how someone feels… READ MORE
Are you using creative visualization to your full benefit? In Black Girls Guide: How to Find & Choose the Right Man, I write about its importance for finding a great relationship. What loving relationship do you see in your future?
In the inspirational bestseller, Creative Visualization, author Shakti Gawain, explains that creative visualization is the technique of using your natural imagination to create what you want in your life. Our imagination, “the basic creative energy of the Universe” works whether we are aware of it or not. This ancient knowledge is the foundation of what people are now calling “The Secret” and “The Law of Attraction.”
To imagine, we must use information that is available to us, and then expand it. To imagine love is to increase our love awareness.
To be loving, we need to know what love is. Once we are able to identify it, we need to make it a constant in our lives. We need to really understand what it looks like, smells like, tastes like, and feels like.
What You Can Do:
- Nighttime is a particularly effective time for creative visualization.
- Be as specific as you can to get what you really want.
“Male or female, it’s hard to respect someone who has no standards. A standard is a level of quality. This level of quality can be socially defined or defined by you. Having standards means that you respect yourself enough to reject what is simply NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Having standards helps us be selective and make better choices.” From Black Girls Guide: How to Find & Choose the Right Man
What You Can Do:
- Create your own standards. What are they?
- Be what you seek in your significant other to ensure that your standards are reasonable.
- Learn to be consistent with your standards to achieve maximum results when dating.
Being uplifting is a state of mind. It means you inspire others to feel better and be better. When you love in a healthy way, you uplift your partner. But you can also uplift total strangers. You can make the choice to be uplifting. How?
- EMPOWER. Empowerment includes believing in yourself, having faith, and granting access to critical resources. Spread the wealth!
- COMPLIMENT. When you see and feel something beautiful, acknowledge it to yourself and others. Compliments are nice to give and receive.
- MOTIVATE. We could all use motivation from time to time. Helping others reach their goals also helps you reach your goals.
- COMFORT. A hug, a kiss, wiping away a tear… Providing comfort shows that you care.
- SHARE. You can share a story, a dollar, your heart. Whatever you have, open your heart chakra to be willing to share it with others.
Dr. Dwayne Buckingham says:
“One of the most challenging aspects of entering and sustaining a committed relationship with a man is your ability to identify and walk away from single good men who are great candidates but are not qualified to be in relationships. As you improve your screening skills and learn to look beyond a man’s surface, you will understand that most single good men have the desire to settle down with the women of their dreams, buy the big white house in the suburbs and contribute to the birth of one and a half kids. However, a large percentage of single “good” men do not take that ultimate step toward oneness with that special woman because they are enslaved by fear, fixation and firmness. These three emotions typically dominate single “good” men and often dictate how they behave. If you do not learn anything else about single good men from this article, understand that fear, fixation and firmness are emotions that are deeply embedded in their psyche and often prevent many of them from entering into committed relationships and marrying. Stop wasting your time listening to men run “game” and start paying attention to their emotional makeup.”
Do you agree? Read the entire article…
On December 11, 2013 at 2PM ET, Dr. Craigie will host a webinar titled Family Structure, Stability, and Child Wellbeing. During the webinar, Dr. Craigie will discuss the determinants and effects of family structure and instability, as well as the pathways through which child wellbeing is affected. Topics to be covered during Dr. Craigie’s webinar include key determinants of family structure and stability, whether child outcomes vary by family structure, the advantages and disadvantages of formal versus informal child support, and implications for policy and future research. Click here to register.
During the webinar, Dr. Craigie will answer questions submitted by SSRC users and webinar participants. Questions can be submitted any time before the webinar through the SSRC’s Ask a Question feature.
Publications authored or co-authored by Dr. Craigie include:
• Family Structure, Stability, and Outcomes of Five-Year Old Children (2012)
• Informal Child Support Contributions in Black Female-Headed Families (2012)
• Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing (2010)
About Terry-Ann Craigie:
Terry-Ann Craigie is the SSRC Emerging Scholar for October-December 2013. Dr. Craigie received her Ph.D. in Economics from Michigan State University in 2009. She currently is an Assistant Professor of Economics at Connecticut College. Previously, she was a Postdoctoral Research Associate at The Bendheim-Thoman Center for Research on Child Wellbeing at Princeton University from July 2009-June 2011, a Visiting Scholar at the University of Michigan, National Poverty Center in June 2010, and a Visiting Scholar at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, Institute for Research on Poverty in October 2009. Dr. Craigie’s research interests include labor economics, economics of the family, and urban economics. Her recent research projects focus on the effects of family structure and stability on early child wellbeing as well as child support receipts in complex family structures.
Pablo Imani, founder of Afrikan yoga, was born and raised in the UK. He is a yoga teacher with Jamaican roots and member of the International Board of African Thinkers. He was recently interviewed after conducting a yoga teacher training class at Nabbinonya beach, Entebbe, a 50km drive from Kampala city.
ON A SCALE OF 1-10, DOES YOGA MAKE ONE A BETTER LOVER?
“I would say 10! ( Laughs)… Yoga puts you in touch with your own body. As you become aware and sensitive of your body, you begin to appreciate the other person. It gives you strength, flexibility and stamina to go into those wonderful bendy positions and because you are fit, you can sustain your energy and last longer. It is not only sexual, you begin to see the other person as a spiritual being to whom you are connected to thus creating a higher vibration and sex is a beautiful sacred thing that should be done with a higher vibration in mind.”
The Fathers & Family Coalition of America will be hosting its 15th Annual National Conference, February 11-14, 2014 at The Westin Lake Las Vegas Resort & Spa in Henderson, NV. Conference activities include:
- Fatherlessness: An American Epidemic to be featured documentary film.
- Fatherhood Practitioners & Healthy Relationship Educator Certificate Program.
- NEW: SEVEN COUPLES OF EXCELLENCE: The Coalition is committed to highlight strengthening families and seven (7) couples nationally who have been married for twenty (20) years or more. Send nominations to the local FFCA Affiliate and winners will be selected to receive complimentary two night stay at the Westin Lake Las Vegas Spa & Resort-recognized at our gala-documentary of their secrets to success for a national release, plus a Special Renewal of Vows on the closing day overlooking Lake Las Vegas. Nominate someone today by accessing our Fathers and Families Coalition of America App on iTunes or Google Play stores. For more information on how to nominate a couple please contact Ms. Lisa Page at 404-405-5745 or by email at email@example.com.
Courtship is being redefined. Is it for the better?
Young 20-somethings “hang out,” opting for group socializing over personal one-on-one encounters and often engage in casual “hook-up” sex. Texting, e-mail, Twitter or other forms of “asynchronous communication” have replaced more personal introductions. According to a recent New York Times article about courtship today:
“In the context of dating, it removes much of the need for charm; it’s more like dropping a line in the water and hoping for a nibble.”
“We’re all Ph.D.’s in Internet stalking these days,” said Andrea Lavinthal, an author of the 2005 book “The Hookup Handbook.” “Online research makes the first date feel unnecessary, because it creates a false sense of intimacy. You think you know all the important stuff, when in reality, all you know is that they watch ‘Homeland.’ ”
According to the article:
“Online dating services, which have gained mainstream acceptance, reinforce the hyper-casual approach by greatly expanding the number of potential dates. Faced with a never-ending stream of singles to choose from, many feel a sense of “FOMO” (fear of missing out), so they opt for a speed-dating approach — cycle through lots of suitors quickly.
That also means that suitors need to keep dates cheap and casual. A fancy dinner? You’re lucky to get a drink.”
Also cited in the article are the changing economic power dynamic between the genders. This means that younger generations are expecting and accepting something very different in their relationships, much different from previous generations. Witnessing the divorce rates of their parents, reliance on technological communications, and more casual encounters… Does this help them find a match or hurt them? What do you think?
I was scanning the headlines a couple weeks back and I saw a few famous celebs were heading to rehab, albeit for more than the first time. I thought that the relationship most have with addiction is a lot like those who struggle to move past their last relationship or have flawed views on relationships. There are many of us who need to go away for a while, get away and have someone or something help move us past that hurt or that urge to do wrong. If that is the case, rehab may be the solution worth exploring. Again, love is a lot like addiction. It’s something you have a downward spiral into, you need more and more of it as the use goes on, and getting over it will be life-changing.
After I came to the conclusion that there may be a need for Love Rehab for people, I needed to figure out a way to explain the symptoms or signs that a person should be seeking out Love Rehab. I can’t list every possible reason I was able to brainstorm but I can list these five and I’m sure every other one is just an iteration of these five.
1. You’re taking it out on all the new people.
2. You still leave open the chance you might get back with an ex.
3. You haven’t accepted why the last relationship didn’t work.
4. You believe in emotional unavailability.
5. At your happiest moments, you still want to share it with your ex.
If you read this and you’re like, “Oh my God, that is so me!” that’s completely normal because for the most part it’s all of us. That’s also why rehab isn’t some set amount of time, it can be 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, or hell sometimes people need 26 weeks to shake the habit. Whatever it is, it’s only important that you’re making a conscious effort to get over it. If that means you spend some time in rehab, you do it, if you think you can handle it on your own, try it.
Just don’t get mad when you get dragged into rehab kicking and screaming by your family and closest friends.