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Helping Black People Find Loving Relationships With Each Other

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    Love and Success

    What is the link between love and success?  Does love lead to success?  Or does success lead to love?  Is there a causal relationship? Is there even a correlation?

    There is no doubt that being successful can make you more attractive to some people.  Many women, for example, are attracted to men in powerful positions. But we are not talking about attraction.  We are talking about love!

    Love is elusive for some.  And financial success does not equal love.  Just ask any rich celebrity:  success does not bring you love.

    For many of us, there is no link whatsoever.  Love is love and success is just that.  But for others, love can elevate our dreams, our visions, our selves, and yes, our success.  True love makes us stronger in all aspects of our lives, including success and perhaps more importantly, our perspectives about success.

    Can you be successful without love? There are examples of people who show us that yes, you can.  But maybe we are asking the wrong question.  What is your definition of success and when you are successful, does that mean that you are happy?

    Most of us looking for love and success are really looking for happiness.  The link between love and happiness is absolute–we are happier when we have love in our lives.

    sisterhoodagendaLove and SuccesssisterhoodagendaLove and Success

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  • 06/26/14--09:46: Is Love Your Religion?
  •  Embody Love
    “If you surrender to a power greater than yourself,
    which you should because to
    think that we are in control of everything is silly,
    then love and energy should be your ‘religion.’”

    -Danielle Paige


    sisterhoodagendaEmbody LovesisterhoodagendaEmbody Love

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    Mom Man Girlfriend

    If her mother is important to her, she should be important to you, too!  Most women value their mother’s opinion, especially when it comes to relationships. When you meet her mother for the first time, what do you do?  Her approval or disapproval can make or break you.

    The mother-daughter bond is usually a strong one.  Her whole life, she has likely been getting advice from her mother.  As her current boyfriend, her mother may hear about all of your disagreements and be solicited regarding major relationship decisions. How can you get the nod of approval and get her to be on your side, too?

    1. Let her mother know that your intentions are to make her daughter happy.
    2. Be proactive in inviting her mother to special family events.
    3. Include her Mom in gift-giving during holiday celebrations.
    4. Introduce your mother to let your girl know that you have a mother, too!
    5. Understand that a strong mother-daughter relationship is “normal” and don’t fight it.
    6. Avoid comparing her to her mother.
    7. Treat her daughter like a queen at all times.

    sisterhoodagendaMom Man GirlfriendsisterhoodagendaMom Man Girlfriend

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    Brother at Sunset

    Watching the sunset.  Hiking in the woods.  Swimming in the ocean.  Bonding with trees.  Seeing animals play.  Making a wish upon a star.  Being close to nature brings us closer to who we really are, which is  love.  Try this:

    • If you date online, use a picture of yourself with a natural background as your profile picture
    • On your first date, visit a lake, the ocean, the mountains, or a meadow
    • Eat outdoors whenever the weather is nice, even if it is just a balcony or sidewalk cafe
    • Breathe deeply and take in fresh air whenever possible
    • Be kind to all living creatures, big and small
    • Observe a tree in all of its glory (really pay attention to all the details!)
    • Go outside on a sunny day and enjoy the feeling of the sun on your skin

    Think of love, loving relationships, being in love, having love, enjoying love while you do nature-loving things.  Being loving attracts love.

    sisterhoodagendaBrother at SunsetsisterhoodagendaBrother at Sunset

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  • 07/10/14--07:00: Heart vs. Brain
  • Brain and Heart

    While love is more heart chakra, your brain can also help illuminate truth.  Your heart is open to giving and receiving love.  Your mind is increasing your consciousness about healthy love.  Dating in today’s environment is about balancing both heart and mind. Use them both wisely!

    sisterhoodagendaBrain and HeartsisterhoodagendaBrain and Heart

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  • 07/15/14--04:46: Intimacy: Beyond Sex
  • Close Smiles

    Sexual intimacy is often mistaken for intimacy, in general.  It’s not!  In fact, sexual intimacy is the easiest type of intimacy for some people to achieve, even though it has the potential to be one of the most intense.

    Intimacy is much more than sexual affection and physical touch.  True intimacy involves reciprocity, mutual trust, respect, and admiration.  A conversation can be intimate.  A look can be intimate.  Body language can also be an obvious sign of intimacy, or lack of.

    Intimacy is a feeling beyond the physical sensation of touch. It involves a bond that is more than superficial. The capacity for intimacy is an indication of being able to be in a healthy, loving relationship.

    sisterhoodagendaClose SmilessisterhoodagendaClose Smiles

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  • 07/15/14--06:10: 5 Advantages to Group Dating
  • Double Date in the Car

    “Hanging out” or group dating is popular, especially among singles in their teens, 20′ s and 30′s. But it’s appropriate for all ages.  Different from the hook-up mentality of many who do not desire long-lasting, committed relationships, there are many advantages to doing group outings instead of dating one-on-one.  Group dates are most helpful for matchmaking if all members of the group are open to new experiences, people, and want partners.

    1. There is less pressure.  Because there are more people, even double-dating can ease the pressure of getting to know someone with romantic potential.  You are less likely to be individually scrutinized and tested on how well you impress and entertain. This reduces stress and puts the emphasis on what really matters–enjoying yourself and being social.

    2. It’s economical and promotes equality.  You can split the costs evenly and enjoy activities that you might not be able to do on your own, such as gourmet dinners where food a few dishes are shared among guests at the table.

    3. You have support.  The fellas have each other and so do the gals. You can bond together as a group and individually.  You have each other’s backs, if necessary and have another person to balance thoughts and opinions.

    4. There are opportunities to meet new, compatible people.  Blind dating is less traumatic and as easy as “bring a friend.”  Usually, there is increased compatibility because group members are linked by some mutual association like  family, occupation, or acquaintances.

    5. It’s fun! By keeping things lighter and in the moment, you can relax more and let the fun side of your personality shine.

    If you feel a connection in the group setting, then one-on-one dates are an ideal way to have a more personalized, up-close  experience that may lead to something more committed and intimate later.

    Read more:
    Anita Baker on Dating
    How to Use Your Third Eye for Dating
    Technology Etiquette for Dating:  5 Rules
    Are You a Desperate Dater?
    The Importance of Date Night

    sisterhoodagendaDouble Date in the CarsisterhoodagendaDouble Date in the Car

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  • 07/17/14--06:50: Get Flowers, Stay Happy
  • Black Couple with Flowers

    Most of us enjoy flowers. They stimulate many of our senses in a positive way, all at once. Flowers are beautiful to look at, smell great, and feel soft.

    Most people feel happier when they receive gifts and giving flowers is one of the most popular gifts that couples exchange. You can stare at flowers and always see something new, smell the scent of the blooms, or rub their soft petals between your fingers.

    Different colors stimulate different emotions and have different meanings. For example, red symbolizes deep love and passion, pink stands for romantic love, white for peace, and yellow stimulates health and happiness. How do we extend the life of our flowers to extend the mood?

    You can put carefully pruned cut flowers in water.  Flowering plants will last longer since they are rooted in enriching soil which keeps them alive to go through different growth stages that include a dormancy period with no flowers and a blooming period, often with vibrant blooms.

    Green foliage, even without any colorful flowers, often brightens a room and contributes to a nurturing environment. But of course, like any plant, you must take care of flowering plants, whether indoors or outdoors, and they are varying degrees of maintenance for each type. Don’t worry! There are low-maintenance flowering plants and high maintenance ones, so there are lots of options to choose from. Try giving a flowering plant to someone as a gift or giving one to yourself and see how it brightens the day.

    sisterhoodagendaBlack Couple with FlowerssisterhoodagendaBlack Couple with Flowers

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    Exercising on Cruise

    People in loving relationships are generally healthier.  On the other hand, people in ambivalent relationships have significantly higher risk of heart disease according to a recent study from the University of Utah.  Lack of support increases stress, which affects the functioning of your heart.

    The Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports heart disease as a leading cause of death for all African Americans and THE leading cause of death for African American women. Several medical conditions and lifestyle choices also increase risk: diabetes, overweight/obesity, poor diet, physical inactivity, and excessive alcohol use.

    In academic and research circles, this direct correlation between your love life and heart disease is relatively new.  It confirms our holistic life experience and highlights the importance of having authentic love in our lives, not just for our mental and emotional health, buy also for our physical well-being.

    sisterhoodagendaExercising on CruisesisterhoodagendaExercising on Cruise

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    Newly Married

    Hiding secrets from your spouse is never a good idea and the foundation of a healthy relationship is trust.  The truth will almost always reveal itself eventually.  But that doesn’t stop people from trying!

    *Whoa! According to one new study, 25-percent of married couples say that they hid (and are still hiding) something pretty major from their spouse. And 42-percent say they doubt they will get caught.

    What is this costly secret that could potentially be a marriage deal-breaker? The study says it ranges anywhere from money troubles to infidelity to (gulp!) a pornography obsession.

    And yes, these secrets have (and do!) cause the bearers many sleepless nights.

    Continue reading at EURThisNThat

    sisterhoodagendaNewly MarriedsisterhoodagendaNewly Married

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    In her new feature photo shoot for the beauty and fashion magazine Violet Grey, actress and director Angela Bassett goes bold in sexy black lingerie and talks about what it takes to be a woman of strength, but she also talks about her most vulnerable times:

    A.B.: A friend or a sister. I mean, the husband is always great, but there is something about a girlfriend…

    A.B.: A passionate woman who knows what she loves and has been blessed to be able to do it…and continue to do it!

    A.B.: Love…and sugar.

    A.B.: When I’m told I can’t do something. When I’m told I’m not good enough, that I can’t have something, can’t go somewhere, especially because of the color of my skin.



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    Sister Breaking OutStudies show Black women are the least desired group on online dating sites. HOW CAN THAT BE?

    For those Black women who’ve tried their hand at finding love online, the results may not be all that surprising. But the racial breakdown of desirability is certainly intriguing.

    Buzzfeed produced a video to explain the findings of the many studies on racial preferences in online dating:

    Advice from African American Matchmaking: 
    Break out from the the mold of expectations, assimilation, wanna-be behavior, doubt, and insecurity by being yourself.

    Keep the faith and keep Black love alive by doing something different, not just online dating.

    We know that Black women are desirable and have been for centuries.  Don’t allow dominant culture beauty standards confuse you with erroneous social comparisons and avoid over-reliance on technology when dating.

    Know your worth and find a partner who does, too.


    sisterhoodagendaSister Breaking OutsisterhoodagendaSister Breaking Out

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  • 08/22/14--06:16: Take a Risk
  • Rowing in the Lake

    Good things come to those who risk, who step outside the norm and who allow themselves to be vulnerable.  Do something different to get a different outcome.  When nothing is ventured, nothing is gained.  Try it today!

    sisterhoodagendaRowing in the LakesisterhoodagendaRowing in the Lake

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    In The Ecstasy of Surrender: 12 Surprising Ways Letting Go Can Empower Your Life,  author Judith Orloff, M.D. devoted a chapter to letting go of any patterns that keep you from loving.  In her own words: One of these patterns … Continue reading

    sisterhoodagendaCutie in a TreesisterhoodagendaCutie in a Tree

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  • 08/29/14--19:48: Dating Naked, Black & Afraid
  • I don’t watch a lot of shows on television, preferring independent films and Netflix binges to cable. However, the reality show Dating Naked, caught my attention.  Not just because it is yet another show featuring naked people, but because the … Continue reading

    sisterhoodagendaDating Naked31-dating-naked-2.w529.h352.2xsisterhoodagendaDating Naked31-dating-naked-2.w529.h352.2x

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    WE NEED MORE LOVE IN OUR COMMUNITIES. The Goal of African American Matchmaking:  To Help You Find a Loving Relationship! African American Matchmaking is a company that promotes Black Love: Advice, Inspiration and Matchmaking Services

    sisterhoodagendaYoung Couple in Love (Small)sisterhoodagendaYoung Couple in Love (Small)

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    Common responses to trauma include increased anxiety, emotional detachment, and addictive behaviors such as alcohol, drugs, sex, overeating, gambling, shopping, etc. Things that remind a person of a traumatic event can trigger avoidance symptoms. These symptoms may cause a person … Continue reading

    sisterhoodagendaNice Looking CoupleBBG_Man Cover FinalsisterhoodagendaNice Looking CoupleBBG_Man Cover Final

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    According to the the 2013 American Values Survey (AVS) conducted by the Public Religion Research Institute: Americans overall reported, on average, a social network of 3.4 people out of a maximum of seven people. Overall, people named in these networks … Continue reading

    sisterhoodagendaAfrican American Student Hangout (Small)sisterhoodagendaAfrican American Student Hangout (Small)

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  • 09/11/14--22:15: Lovely Lingerie
  • “The sad truth is I can go weeks at a time without coming across a nice photo of a woman of color in lingerie.” Cora Harrington, a.k.a. Treacle Tart, cross-posted from The Lingerie Addict. Most of us are stimulated when … Continue reading


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    Increase your love awareness with our blog and books from our store!

    From our blog:“Turn Your Lights Down Low” Turn your lights down low And pull your window curtains; Oh, let Jah moon come shining in – Into our life again, Sayin': ooh, it’s been a long, long (long, long, long, long) time; I kept this message for you, girl, But it seems I was never on […]

    The post One of Bob Marley’s Most Romantic Songs appeared first on African American Matchmaking ™ - Helping Black People Find Loving Relationships With Each Other.


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