Detox Your Life
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Single Black Men Want Commitment
A poll was conducted by NPR, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, and the Harvard School of Public Health yielded some interesting findings. Their results about the dating lives of single African Americans (respondents 18-49, widowed, divorced, or never married) recently found that single Black men were much more likely to say they were looking for a long-term relationship (43 percent) compared to single black women (25 percent).
There are many possible explanations and theories about these results. Maybe the benefits of long-term relationships are obvious. The bottom line is:
Question your assumptions about Black relationships. Stereotypes and myths prevail and this is just one more piece of evidence to demonstrate the fact that Black men desire loving, long-term relationships, too. Maybe even more so than Black women.
Related Posts:
Love Improves Your Health
Commitment
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Black Love is Black Wealth
Nikki-Rosa
By Nikki Giovanni b. 1943 Nikki Giovanni
childhood remembrances are always a drag
if you’re Black
you always remember things like living in Woodlawn
with no inside toilet
and if you become famous or something
they never talk about how happy you were to have
your mother
all to yourself and
how good the water felt when you got your bath
from one of those
big tubs that folk in chicago barbecue in
and somehow when you talk about home
it never gets across how much you
understood their feelings
as the whole family attended meetings about Hollydale
and even though you remember
your biographers never understand
your father’s pain as he sells his stock
and another dream goes
And though you’re poor it isn’t poverty that
concerns you
and though they fought a lot
it isn’t your father’s drinking that makes any difference
but only that everybody is together and you
and your sister have happy birthdays and very good
Christmases
and I really hope no white person ever has cause
to write about me
because they never understand
Black love is Black wealth and they’ll
probably talk about my hard childhood
and never understand that
all the while I was quite happy
Nikki Giovanni, “Nikki-Rosa” from Black Feeling, Black Talk, Black Judgment. Copyright © 1968, 1970 by Nikki Giovanni.
Source: The Collected Poetry of Nikki Giovanni (2003)
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Imani’s Song
Imani Wright
Celebrating our children and increasing their love awareness from a young age, we used 14-year old Imani Wright’s original audio track for the new African American Matchmaking Commercial. Congratulations, Imani and keep up the good work! Check out the video:
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Love, Peace & Soul
Don Cornelius gave us Soul Train, a musical showcase that promoted Black culture, dance, and style from 1971 to 2006. In its 35-year history, the show primarily featured performances by R&B, soul, and hip hop artists. The Soul Train line is still an active phenomenon. We rarely see African Americans dancing and enjoying themselves like this on public television today. Is there a modern Soul Train equivalent? Don Conrnelius ended each Soul Train show wishing us all:
“Love, Peace, and Soul.”
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Glow of Love
Never lonely with you only, time will always be our friend
Reaching far to find a star, our destiny is Heaven sent
Making known this loving tone, we’ll never part, the two of us
We’ll always reminisce, kissing in the glow of love…
See the Video: Change featuring Luther Vandross
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Love Recognizes No Barriers
“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences,
penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”
Maya Angelou
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Love Yourself
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Why “Good” Men Remain Single
In this video, Qualified But Single: Why Good Men Remain Single, Dr. Dwayne Buckingham interviews Black men who seem “qualifed” as suitable partners but remain single. Some of the underlying factors include:
- Having a successful career does not make a man qualified to be in a relationship
- Some men are successful in their careers but lack the emotional capability to connect in a meaningful with a woman
- Some men have not healed from previous relationships that ended badly
For more information about Dr. Dwayne Buckingham and his services: http://www.realhorizonsdlb.com/
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Ain’t Nobody
“Ain’t Nobody” is a 1983 hit single by Rufus & Chaka Khan.
Captured effortlessly
That’s the way it was
It happened so naturally
I did not know it was love
The next thing I felt was you
Holdin’ me close
What was I gonna do?
I let myself go
And now we’re flyin’ through the stars
I hope this night will last forever
I’ve been waitin’ for you
It’s been so long
I knew just what I would do
When I heard your song
It filled my heart with your bliss
Gave me freedom
You knew I could not resist
I needed someone
And now we’re flyin’ through the stars
I hope this night will last forever
Ain’t nobody
Loves me better
Makes me happy
Makes me feel this way
Ain’t nobody
Loves me better, than you
I wait for night time to comeAnd bring you to me
Can’t believe I’m the one
I was so lonely
I feel like no one could feel
I must be dreamin’
I want this dream to be real
I need this feelin’
I make my wish upon a star
And hope this night will last forever
Ain’t nobody
Loves me better
Makes me happy
Makes me feel this way
Ain’t nobody
Loves me better
Ain’t nobody
Loves me better, than you
And first you put your arms around me
Then you put your charms around me
I can’t resist this sweet surrender
Oh! My nights are warm and tender
We stare into each other’s eyes
And what we see is no surprise
Got a feelin’ most would treasure
And a love so deep we cannot measure
Ain’t nobody
Loves me better
Makes me happy
Makes me feel this way
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Love is Uplifting
Uplift yourself and each other in LOVE.
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Your Mate is Not Your Enemy
Love is not aggressive or hostile. Love partners uplift, support, and enlighten each other.
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Are You a Desperate Dater
While both men and women can be desperate daters, Charyn Gant and Dahmenah M., give specific advice to women in their book, The Game Changers: How To Date Men in the 21st Century
It could be that Desperate Dating behaviors are creating your loss of POWER. Let’s talk about the word desperate. Definition of “desperate”:
- Reckless or dangerous because of despair or urgency.
- Having an urgent need, desire, etc.
- Extreme or excessive.
- Having no hope; giving into despair.
1. Given a man your body without truly knowing who he was as a person?
2. Ever let a man you really don’t know, who has never taken you out on a date; constantly come over to your home to have sex, then leave?
3. Dated a man that cannot commit to you because he’s committed to another?
4. Dated a man that cannot take care of himself so you take care of him?
5. Dated or continue to date a man that was/ is physically, mentally and emotionally abusive to you?
6. Continually dated a man that you have caught in several lies because you believe you really like/ love him?
7. Have you ever been afraid to tell a man what you are looking for in a partner/ mate/ lover/ husband?
8. Chosen a man out of desperation or fear of being alone?
9. Rationalized away or made excuses for his negative behaviors instead of trusting your instincts?
10. Chased men instead of allowing a man to chase or court you?If you answered “Yes” to 3 or more questions, you ARE a “Desperate Dater.” The reason why it’s necessary for you to find out if you are a “Desperate Dater” is because with self-awareness comes change and with change comes a better life.
Remember: men can answer these questions and be desperate daters, too! And nobody, male or female, likes a date someone who is desperate. Remind yourself of Earth’s abundance and keep faith in Black love.
Source: Gant, Charyn ; M., Dahmenah (2012-03-26). The Game Changers: How To Date Men in the 21st Century
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Real Black Talk
African American Matchmaker, Angela D. Coleman, discusses love and
realtionships on Real Black Talk Saturday, July 6, 2013 from 11pm EST.
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There’s Something About You
There’s SOMETHING About YOU!
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me smile.
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me want to get close to you.
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me think we could do great things together.
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me thinks you are PERFECT just the way you are.
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me think we were MADE for each other.
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me think I want to spend the REST of my life with YOU.
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me think we will travel the WORLD together.
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me think your FLAWS are FLAWLESS.
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me think that HAPPILY EVER AFTER exists.
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me think about the WILD ADVENTURES we will partake in.
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me think that you REALLY like me by the way you LOOK at me.
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me think you are REALLY INTO ME by the amount of time we SPEND together.
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me think you are PROUD of me by the way you INTRODUCE me to everyone you KNOW as your WOMAN.
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me think that you CHERISH me by the way you do little sweet things for me that make me smile.
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me think YOU love me because you say it at the right moments and when I need to hear it.
There’s SOMETHING about YOU that makes me think my SEARCH is over.
Why do we fall in LOVE? We fall in love because of the way a person makes us FEEL.
Source: Gant, Charyn ; M., Dahmenah (2012-03-26). The Game Changers: How To Date Men in the 21st Century
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Heart Kisses
Blowing you heart kisses today and everyday!
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We Can Do It
If swans can do it, why can’t we?
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Empathy Paradox
From 1979-2009, the ability to empathize (feel what others are feeling) and take perspectives (see from another’s point of view) dropped 48%. According to psychologist Sara Konrath, empathy paradox refers to “increasing disconnection in the age of connection.” Although it may be challenging, especially with technology, let’s stay connected to each other.
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Love = Balance
Being in love means staying in balance; within yourself and with each other.
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An Extraordinary Relationship
“If you listen to other people you will end up like other people. You must be willing to do something different if you want to have an extraordinary relationship and life.”
Gant, Charyn ; M., Dahmenah. The Game Changers: How To Date Men in the 21st Century.
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More Pages to Explore .....
